Ouch! No, Seriously… Ouch.
Friday, February 16th, 2007Hello everyone, and welcome to Part Two of my series on ‘Why Professional Wrestling is Cooler Than People Give it Credit For’. In Part One, we discussed Leon White (AKA Big Van Vader), the man who missed out on winning a world title because he smelled bad. Well, the following wrestler smelled bad, wrestled badly and ended his career in about as horrific a fashion as you can imagine. Welcome, all, to the insanity that is Sid Vicious:
Born Sidney Eudy in 1960, this 6 foot 9 monster variously took the ring names ‘Sid Vicious’ (after the ill-starred English punk), ‘Sid Justice’ and ’Sycho Sid’ (spelling not being very high on his list of priorities). In fact, further evidence of the man’s stupidity is demonstrated by the various backstage altercations and (possible) urban legends that surround him, a selection of which are presented here:
- Sid was famous for botching his interviews before and after wrestling matches. A selection of the best of these are available on Youtube.
- A well-know softball fan, Sid would often develop ‘mysterious injuries’ at the beginning of a season, just in time to start playing.
- He was sacked by WCW in 1992 for attacking fellow wrestler Arn Anderson in an English hotel. After arguing in a bar, Sid went to Anderson’s room, lay in wait for him, whacked him over the head with a chair and then stabbed him repeatedly with a pair of safety scissors (yes, the sort you used whilst making Art in pre-school). Anderson was rushed to hospital, but survived.
- Another, possibly apocryphal, story is that on another occasion Sid got in a bar fight with another wrestler, the late Brian Pillman. After the much smaller Pillman got the better of him, Sid fled the bar, only to return later, brandishing a squeegee as a weapon. Yes, a squeegee - an item mostly used for washing cars. The gesture was greeted with little more than amusment by the bar’s patrons.
- On another occasion Sid made a bet with some fellow wrestlers that he wouldn’t be able to put his pet squirrel inside his trousers for a whole minute. The squirrel promptly bit Vicious on the genitalia and was crushed to death when Sid collapsed in pain. The wrestler needed several ‘intimate’ stitches and a rabies shot.
- Finally, Sid is also famous for losing control of his bowels in a match with the Undertaker in the WWE. Take a look at the above picture, noting Sid’s tiny wrestling shorts, and also reminding yourself that the Undertaker’s finishing move (the Tombstone Piledriver) calls for him to hold his opponent upside-down for several seconds… It must have taken some serious professionalism to finish that match.
However, this un-doubted idiocy isn’t the only reason I have seen fit to feature Sid. He is also famous for something far worse…
Despite not being the greatest wrestler in the world, Sid’s immense size served him well in an industry where competitors are rewarded more for their physical dimensions than technical prowess. In his career Sid won the WWE Championship and WCW Championship two times each and main-evented all over the world. However, in 2001, before a Championship Match at WCW’s Sin pay-per-view, it was suggested to Sid that he may like to expand his repetoire of moves by incorporating some high-flying aerial action from the top turnbuckle. Sid politely explained that this really wasn’t his style. Nevertheless, the powers that be insisted. This was the result:
Needless to say, Sidney Eudy hasn’t wrestled since.