TheBoySaunders.com

It’s ‘Lachesis’, Retard

I’ve recently mentioned my personal computer gaming renaissance.

It started, innocently enough, with the realization that my under-powered PC could, in fact, run Half Life 2 quite easily. This was a good thing as I had enjoyed the original greatly whilst at University.

After that, I started thinking of other games that I had enjoyed older versions of. Warcraft 3 fulfilled that critera. Soon, even my dusty old Playstation 2, neglected for the previous two years as little more than a downstairs DVD player, was back in full-time use as I revisited old WWE Smackdown vs Raw games.

The nostalgia hit top-gear when Ellie bought me the Sega Megadrive Collection for my birthday. I revisited Sonic the Hedgehog, Ecco the Dolphin, Comix Zone and the previously-unreleased-outside-of-Japan Golden Axe 3. But, best of all, they had a version of the old-classic Columns packaged in with the disc, the game that kept my Dad and I playing every evening for six months, almost a decade and a half ago. Somehow, incredibly, I managed to get Ellie addicted. Somehow, incredibly, I managed not to shout at the game for its use of the word Lathesis (sic).

But there’s a drawback to this collection. There’s some obvious ommisions from the list of included games. There’s no Streets of Rage, no Shining Force. And worst of all, no Gynoug (or Wings of Wor, as it was known Stateside.)

Never heard of Gynoug? That’s no surprise. It was an unsuccessful, badly programmed side-scrolling shoot-’em-up with little to redeem or distinguish itself. The only reason I love it so much is visualising the looks on the faces of the programmers, when they realised that they had managed to sneak this level past Sega’s censors:

I mean, really… That’s not even subtle.

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 6th, 2007 at 8:09 am and is filed under Reasons to be Cheerful. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

12 Responses to “It’s ‘Lachesis’, Retard”

AgentGinger Says:
September 11th, 2007 at 2:01 am
Speaking of Shining Force, I’ve recently introduced Ty to your old Shining Force I cartridge on the megadrive (you’ll be glad to know the internal memory is still tickety-boo), whilst I play Shining Force II on an emulator. Thank god for the acelerator!

I’d forgotten how tedious it was playing and replaying battles again and again at the speed the creators had set!

Did you know you can get an “enhanced” version of Shining Force I with new characters and stuff for the GBA?
JC Says:
September 11th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
I didn’t understand a single word of that. Does that make me officially old?
Phil Says:
September 12th, 2007 at 8:07 am
Not old, just dis-interested in computer gaming. Most of those terms come from c.1993!

I always thought that the SF battles were well-paced, but it has been ten years… Not sure when I’ll ever have time to play SF on GBA - I’ve just ~~been seduced by the Dark Side~~ bought World of Warcraft!
Lady degrader Says:
September 12th, 2007 at 12:29 pm
Hahahahahahahaha you foolish mortal! You have entered myriad worlds from which there is no escape! So… when do you want me to come round and take care of business while you’re busy?
Phil Saunders Says:
September 13th, 2007 at 5:09 am
Erm… a week next Thursday?
Lady degrader Says:
September 14th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
I bet I come round, equipment at the ready, and it’ll turn out that’s the day you’re moving house.
JC Says:
September 14th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
Well I’d like to say goodbye to Phil. It’s been nice knowing you. Ellie i’d say to feel free to cheat on him now as he wont even notice.
Phil Says:
September 17th, 2007 at 3:42 am
You may mock, but the game is freakin’ awesome. If you see a level 14 undead warlock named Skellybone running round with a big grin on his face, that be me.
Phil Says:
September 17th, 2007 at 6:58 am
Update: I just asked one of my colleagues if she had any ‘quests’ she needed doing (I meant ‘tests’). It’s official… I’m addicted.
JC Says:
September 17th, 2007 at 11:41 am
As you’ve given me permission I believe I will mock ’skellybonehead’ ha feel the full force of my awesome wit
Ari Says:
August 19th, 2008 at 6:57 pm
“It was an unsuccessful, badly programmed side-scrolling shoot-’em-up with little to redeem or distinguish itself.”

WTF. Gynoug was a hit in every videogame magazine and still considered one of the best on the Mega Drive/Genesis.
Phil Saunders Says:
August 26th, 2008 at 11:39 am
Well the various reviews on the Interwebz are generally positive (although ‘a hit in every videogame magazine’ is stretching things), so maybe my memories of Gynoug are influenced by personal opinions.

I thought it was a dreadful game, and stick by that.

But ‘one of the best on the Mega Drive/Genesis’? Don’t see any mention of it on discussion threads (for example). Even by the standards of fifteen years ago the game was average and aged horribly very quickly. A bit of interesting artwork is the main redeeming feature and the only thing to seperate Gynoug from the superior (and earlier) Hellfire.

It’s ‘Lachesis’, Retard

12 Responses to “It’s ‘Lachesis’, Retard”

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