Archive for the ‘Football’ Category

Shaunders Shaves Shoccer

Thursday, July 29th, 2010

Nine days until the new football season and the excitement is… almost non-existent. England’s rotten world cup campaign combined with public apathy towards the highly-paid, underachieving thugs we’re all expected to idolise means this could be the perfect time for a revolution! My suggestions:

  • £10,000 a week pay cap (this still works out at upwards of £500,000 a year, and players are free to seek out their own endorsement and sponsorship deals)
  • £5,000,000 transfer fee cap
  • £10 upper limit on match-day ticket prices

Granted, these measures would probably see a mass exodus of players to the Italian, Spanish and German leagues but really, what does it matter? A greater emphasis on home-grown talent would do wonders for the national team and, with lower outgoings, the holy grail of the Champions League will no longer be quite as vital. A transfer fee and wage cap should prevent the financial messes clubs like Portsmouth, Liverpool and <ahem> Ipswich have got themselves into in recent years, through not living within their means.

The third point probably requires more explanation, but the days where a club’s main income comes from ticket sales are long-gone. The cash cow now is television money, but what’s more depressing than watching a game played in a half-empty stadium*? In this age of austerity, why would people pay £35 a ticket when they can sit in and watch it on the box? Fill the stadiums with cheap tickets (and whatever revenue comes from in-stadium merchandising) and encourage people to make noise and get involved with the game. If it looks good on television, people will be more inclined to come along and that’s a win-win!

Anyway, the game’s too far gone for any of the above to happen, but I dearly wish it would. At least wrestling and World of Warcraft are still awesome, eh?

* Within a football context, I mean. I accept that things like cancer, Third World debt and Michael Mcintyre are more depressing.

Best. Website. Ever.

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

The Shock Appointment of Roy Keane as Manager of Ipswich Town Has Led me to Write my First Football Related Article Since September 2006

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

Sepp’s Blatty!

Tuesday, September 12th, 2006

Odd Sods

Wednesday, August 30th, 2006

Reasons to be Cheerful

Friday, June 9th, 2006