Note to my Employers

March 17th, 2011

I received an email at 09:55 this morning entitled ‘Friday Fun Day! Join the fun!’. It contained irregular capitalisation and no less than twenty exclamation marks. That’s one exclamation mark for every 17.95 words. Naturally, this made me very cross.

Thanks for all the money and everything, but… truth through repetition is a myth. It doesn’t matter how many times you use the word ‘fun’ in an email. Work always has and always will be a gosh-darn imposition and we only do it to avoid ending up crack-addled in a ditch. Adding multiple exclamation marks to emails whilst insisting that harrowing activities are ‘fun’ does nothing to dilute this unfortunate truth.

Please… let’s just get on with things, preferably in silence, so we can get away at 5pm and not have to think about work for the few waking hours left in the day. Oh, and by the way, marking the offending email as ‘High’ priority is just a slap in the face, making a steaming mockery of the whole mail prioritisation system.

Good day to you.

<3 Matt Baker

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